No Verb

Last month, just before leaving Germany, there was a phone bill dispute with my roommate there. There shouldn’t have been a dispute; the bill was in my name. I should have just put my foot down and taken care of the way that I thought was best. However, I am sometimes too nice to people, and I let her manipulate me into doing what she wanted. She swore up and down she’d take care of it, and against my better judgment, I trusted her. Now it turns out she’s done exactly what she promised not to do. But at least she sent me a chipper email informing me of it. Thanks a lot. I got really angry with myself yesterday for not just having stood up to her and instead choosing to be a people-pleaser. I really hate when things like that happen. Since the issue came up again yesterday, I’ve been getting really upset about it off and on. But there’s nothing I can do to change it, so I just need to let it go…

As of today, I’ve been home (not working) for three weeks, and I haven’t been bored at all. I’ve had wedding and job application stuff to do, I’ve spent time with friends and family, and now that the first phase of job stuff if complete (until I get the phone calls for interviews that I’m praying for), I’m just getting started. Good thing that the job I start on Wednesday is only three days a week. I have books to read, I just bought some fabric to experiment with skirt-making, and I just found this website: http://biology.clc.uc.edu/Fankhauser/Cheese/Cheese.html
It is called Fankhauser’s Cheese page. Thanks to Fankhauser, I now have recipes for 19 different kinds of cheese, homemade root beer, yogurt, and ice cream. I have lofty goals, and we’ll see which ones are realized by the end of the summer, but get ready for some cheese tasting, friends.

This is my shout out to Susan-in-Texas. I just learned you exist, and I already appreciate you.

Here is a story about Susan: Susan is Amanda’s friend from Baylor Law (”where fun goes to die”), and she decided to start reading all of Amanda’s friends’ blogs. When MJ had her surgery, Susan got all hushed and asked Amanda what kind of surgery it was. When Amanda told her, she said something along the lines of, “I knew MJ wasn’t the type of person to get elective surgery.” So MJ wins the “good job conveying your general personality through your blog” award.

MJ, to her MOTHER: “I don’t even know you! Do you read?”

Today, I got to see Amanda and Michelle for the first time in a year and Jamie and Jake for the first time in seven month (and MJ for the first time in, well, a week), and although it was under unpleasant circumstances, it was so comfortable just to see my friends again. Amanda cried once when I walked in the door and again while talking about a movie (if you know Amanda, you know this is unusual–she’s in law school); Jamie and I shared chairs and she gave me marriage advice (she’s been married almost a month; she’s a total pro); we played Shanghai Rummy (my junior year, we filled up a whole notebook with scores from dominoes, rummy, and dice games); we ate piles of candy. It was a good day. We just needed Mattie Jo there to make it complete. They have to go back to Reno, Texas, Prescott, and Flagstaff tomorrow, and I get to miss them again until August. That was just totally sappy and pathetic sounding, but unfortunately, it is true.

As an addendum to the previous post, Chris and I had a discussion last night (while we were eating) about how eating really good food is pretty much one of our favorite things to do. Last week, Niki pointed out that since you have to eat about 3 times a day anyway, you might as well make it enjoyable. We feel sorry for anyone who doesn’t think of it that way. Anyone who is either a picky eater or who just eats to stop being hungry, we feel sorry for you. (Dave, your name came up last night, yes). It is much more fun to be like my dad, who, whenever he is confronted with good cheese, bread, foie gras, seafood, etc. yells out, “Festivities!”. And in the case of last night, spreads a little Camembert on some water crackers and gives them to the dogs, calling them his “little French cheese dogs.” Seriously.

Last night, Chris and I went to dinner at Postino (I’d take all of you if I could), and while we were waiting for a table, we went into La Grande Orange to poke around. After hovering over the candy section for a few minutes (they had taffy! and lemonheads! and nerds!), I discovered the cheese section. This sacred cheese section, as Chris pointed out later, is no different from the cheese section in AJ’s or in Whole Foods; however, this cheese section had fewer than 20 cheeses, which is just much more manageable. I was able to manhandle every single cheese and imagine its delightful texture and sharp taste in my mouth. They had something called Drunken Goat; it was so white and buttery and smooth. There was some soft Italian cheese that was so nicely aged, it was practically oozing out of the plastic. Alas, I had to face the harsh reality that anything I bought would have to survive about 3 hours in my purse while we ate before it could be refrigerated. I selected a hearty Walnut Gouda and a Swedish Vodka Currant Cheese. Then we went to Postino and gorged ourselves on smoked salmon bruscetta and goat cheese and roasted red pepper bruscetta and olives and wine and salad with pine nuts and feta and a panini with roasted zucchini. As we were leaving, I smelled the delightful scent of sugar being burned atop a creme brulee; however, I was too full to even think about it. I’m going to eat breakfast now.

Not only Dillard’s, but also Banana Republic, Hugo Boss, and all suits but one at Nordstrom. Some people are just skinny. Leave them alone and make them suits, is all I have to say. Oh I forgot about the guy C’s dad talked to at Saks or somewhere. He offered to leave C alone and make him a suit. For $1000. Yeah, I bet you will.

-J

i didn’t think so. 36 (coat size, not pants) is a big number, and one i am proud of. but still: who would have thought that i was too small for dillard’s?

- chris

“Apparently I’m tiny!”

Ack. I am so dumb. This morning, I drove Chris to work so that I could use his car to drive down to DOWNTOWN PHOENIX (that is far away) to get my teaching certification. Doing this entailed waking up at 6:30 (actually, first it entailed waking up all disoriented on the living room couch at 5:15 because that’s where I fell asleep last night), but it was still worth it because I got to have coffee with Chris. Then I took a delightful drive that included passing a tanning salon that almost made me throw up because it was named “Darque Tan.” I arrived at 1535 W. Jefferson St. with almost no problems until I realized I HAD LEFT MY PAPERS AT HOME and could not get my certification. I called my mom practically wailing. I started driving home and called my sister and did wail (quite loudly). I came to the conclusion that I am not responsible enough to be an adult. They should take away my college degree and not let me get married and probably make me go back to middle school and give me a few more years to get it together. Then Niki calmed me down, and I could laugh at myself. I’m about to get in the car again, this time WITH the necessary papers, and drive downtown. I suck.

Chris and I are off to California in a couple of hours. That means I should stop playing on the (speedy!) internet and maybe shower and pack.

I stand corrected. Oh “Bring It On,” we should call you by the name that Niki once did but is inappropriate for a family audience.

-J

in fact, you are. “bring it on” was nothing more than the title of a movie in lori’s explanation. the fact that the title contained an imperative verb is irrelevant. that sentence may have just as well read “‘chasing liberty’ is a classy film”, or even “the village inn is a classy restaurant”.

- chris

It looks like this site is in danger of turning into more of a grammar discussion site/C and J have petty disputes about the definition of a book forum. If you get tired of it, email us and tell us to shut up. We may or may not obey you.

Thank you Lori. I forgot about linking verbs. Now I wonder what else I forgot about from my grammar classes and it kind of makes me upset.

I do have one thing to dispute from that explanation, however. “Bring it on” has nothing to do with linking verbs. It is an imperative verb. There is an implied “you”: (You) bring it on. Or maybe you were trying to say something else and I’m missing it because I’m too tired to think clearly right now.

-J

I moved a second 6-foot bookcase into my already too-packed bedroom in an attempt to maintain my books in some semblance of order. This caused me to make far too many painful decisions. Does a French Bible go in the French section or in the Religion section? Does The Word Lover’s Guide go in the reference section or in the Grammar section? There are endless possibilities. But the most heart-wrenching moment came when I discovered the infamous missing ID card inside Fowler’s Modern English Usage. This is the ID card that went missing over Spring break, and when I reported it missing, I was informed by the very terse superintendent of DoDDS schools that a missing ID card is viewed by the military as a serious security risk. So if Osama Bin Laden gains access to Ramstein AB or any other base in the KMC, it is single-handedly my fault. Back to the topic at hand: Why was the ID card inside Fowler’s Modern English Usage? I have no idea! If I knew that, I probably would have found the ID card long ago, saving myself a lot of stress and lectures from military personnel.

Thanks to MJ, I just had a flashback to freshman year of college when I was in love with Billy Joel, and I never stopped listening to him. Also, I named my bike Rosalinda. Also, I saw that one episode of Freaks and Geeks when Sam, Bill, and Neil fall in love with Maureen while shooting off bottle rockets and listening to “Rosalinda’s Eyes.” It was good.

Today while eating lunch, Chris and I simultaneously came to a realization that we don’t know exactly what kind of verb “to taste” is, as in “This tastes good.” So the problem is that “This” is a sandwich. The sandwich is not doing the tasting, I am. How would you diagram that sentence? That may not seem like a very important question to you, but in fact, it left us preoccupied through most of lunch. I’m about to go consult one of my (many) grammar books, including a new one that I bought at Shakespeare and Co. in Paris. Don’t worry; when I find an explanation, I will let you know what it is. Until then, I leave you with this quote from my former grammar professor: “Grammar is like science, and the world is our laboratory.”

While sorting through some papers in my armoire this morning, I found a website that Jamie and I found while at Sprint one day last semester (you must understand that Sprint produced an ultimate state of boredom) called the “Mormon Baby Namer.” Basically it consisted of a long (very long) list of names that actual real live Mormons have named their actual real live babies. Here are some of my favorites:
1. Chinchilla Zest
2. Confederate America
3. Fawn-Dew
4. Jennyfivetina
5. Justa Cowgirl
6. Lovie Angel
7. Miracles Precious One
8. Mormon Beauty

I can’t even think of anything sufficient to conclude this post. Just take Fawn-Dew with you in your heart.