No Verb

Cody: (while looking up the word ‘protagonist’ in the dictionary’) “Heeheehee. Look. This dictionary has the word ‘poop’ in in”.

The whole class explodes in laughter.

Me: (trying not to laugh) “Okay, okay. Let’s keep going. Calm down. What does protagonist mean?”

A few minutes later…

Cody: (while looking up the word ‘antagonist’) “Hahaha. Teeheehee. Look! The word ‘fart’ is in the dictionary!”

The class is pretty much uncontrollable at this point. Myron falls out of his seat laughing.

Me: “Thank you, Cody. Would you like to pass that off to someone else? Who can look up the word ‘antagonist’?”

Angel: (after taking over the dictionary) “Cody! Cody! Look! Anus! ‘Anus’ is right by ‘antagonist’!”

I give up. Can I actually revoke dictionary privileges in English class?

1. I’m from Arizona, which doesn’t change time; therefore, I’m not used to it.
2. The US and Europe couldn’t even coordinate when they would change, so now we have a 10 hour time difference with California for the next week.
3. I got used to waking up when it is light over the past couple of weeks, and now I have to wake up in the dark again.
4. All of my students were tired and grumpy today from getting an hour less sleep last night.
5. I don’t like it.

“Avez-vous une bonne journee, suckas”

“Okay, first put a ghost on your tongue. Now you need to get really close to me”

A Top Ten List of Highlights from the weekend:
1. A birthday party from my fellow student teachers featuring a really tender card, speakers for my computer, a drawing of me as a Grammar Robot named Joceling, and caramel brownies. Try and top that.
2. A birthday party from one of my classes featuring two really yummy cakes (Thanks, Kaila!).
3. A beat box version of “Happy Birthday” from two of my students.
4. Meeting Lori in Strasbourg and consuming crepes, ice cream, baguettes with camembert and Nutella, pizza, ghost shaped chips, vigorously bubbly champagne (that was actually painful to drink, and the cork could have killed someone the way it shot from the bottle. I guess that’s what you get for trying to buy champagne for one Euro), and Orangina. I’m not even really sure that is a complete list.
5. Getting my picture taken with the really friendly guy who was selling fairly incredible (and by incredible, I mean ghastly) wigs on a street corner.
6. Taking a boat tour of the city, the prerecorded tour of which contained the claim, “People say that the tune for ‘The Marseillaise’ was written outside of Strasbourg, but those are just malicious rumors”
7. Finding a veritable Diagon Alley in the middle of the city.
8. Attending Easter Services at an English speaking Anglican church that featured not only a traditional Eucharist, but also African drumming.
9. Listening to the church bells from all over the city ring Sunday morning.
10. Being wished a Happy Easter by the most joyful little old French woman who passed us on the way to church and kept declaring, “He is risen! He has saved us!”

Thanks everybody for the delightful birthday packages! Nana; Aunt Pam; Mattie Jo; Mom and Dad, everything you sent made my day that much more wonderful, but it made me miss you so much more. I’ll be able to thank you individually when I get back from Strasbourg and have email access, but I just wanted to let you know that I received everything! Love you!

Three weeks ago
you died a bloody
feathery death.

Today
twisted bits of flesh and
mangled feathers stand testimony
to the germy and winged life
you once lived. Unfortunately,
they stand
right outside my front door.

Tomorrow shall be a great day. I’m counting on it already. I will be 22 years old! Picture me doing a crazy dance while wearing my favorite underwear, because that’s what you do on your birthday. I will celebrate my birthday in two countries, actually three if you want to be a pedant. I’ll start the day on an American base; after school, I’ll venture out into Germany, then I’ll take the train to France and spend the weekend with my very best friend. And I’m counting on both Germany and France to get rid of the rain and return to us the sunny 60 degree days we’ve been having…

I feel like I’m making progress and losing it at the same time. A few of my students who were extraordinarily difficult to deal with just a few weeks ago have become very pleasant to work with. They don’t feel the need to challenge me anymore, and I don’t feel the need to watch them every single second. We’ve somehow developed mutual respect for each other. I am thoroughly enjoying them.
However.
However. However, one class has decided to push me in every way possible. I can’t take it personally because Tiffany has had the same problems with them throughout the school year, but it is impossible not to take it personally. They are becoming more and more unpleasant, and I feel that I am becoming more and more unpleasant with them. I lack patience and optimism when it comes to dealing with that class. I have about 44 hours until I have to deal with them again, which means that I have 44 hours to get it together and remember why those kids need a patient, helpful, and firm teacher more than most. And 44 hours to realize that I don’t actually want to strangle all 14 of them.

1. More patience
2. A nap
3. An automatic essay grading machine
4. Patience
5. More students like my Blue 2 class
6. Fewer students like my Blue 3 class
7. Patience
8. A snack
9. Kind words and patience
10. Patience

(While covering his head with a jacket and moaning) “Why am I just a stupid teenager?”

“Ew! I can’t believe you guys are laughing so much! Teachers aren’t supposed to have fun. At least not at school.”

“So there’s a difference between a ‘buchsack’ and a ‘rucksack’ in German, but I don’t know exactly what it is. I guess you put books in a ‘buchsach’ and in a ‘rucksack,’ you put…rucks.”

Thanks, I totally understand the difference now.

From a kid who promised to explain the social rules of the bus to me in his essay:

“When ever you get on the bus for the first time. You need to wear the right type of close cause the is the only thin people talk about. When you get on the bus you need to see where you belong. If you’re a rocker or skater you seat in the front. If you’re into rap, hip hop you can seat on the back. it all depends on how people get along whit you, and if there is a seat available for you. Cause you cannot joust take a seat wear ever you want because we all have assign seats, so remember wear you belong.”

1. This weekend: Munich
2. Next weekend: Easter, my birthday, and it looks like Strasbourg with Lori.
3. Weekend after that: Mystery weekend.
4. Weekend after that: Spring Break starts! Paris with Lori and Chris; Edinburgh with Chris. I can’t wait.

How is it that these kids can go from being the nastiest little beasts that I never want to see again to being the sweetest, funniest, kindest people who try to help people in just one day? I don’t get it. But if they stay the way they were today, I’ll keep them.

One of my students turned 16 today. She is an ESL and Special Ed student who could pass more for 10 because of her various social and academic problems. Last year, she went to a German school where kids beat her up and no one came to her birthday party. So this year, some of us decided she needed to have a better day. Dr.Boue’s wife baked her a cake with an Easter bunny on it, we made a bunch of cards and brought snacks, kids came in during lunchtime, and we all surprised her for her birthday. Today was the first day I’ve seen her interact with other kids and actually smile while doing so. Some of the kids sat at a table with her while she ate her cake and the ESL students involved her in a conversation about learning English. I was so proud of them! Later, when she needed help reading and Tiffany and I were busy helping other students revise their writing, a boy said, “I’ll read to her,” and he read with her until school was out! If this were first grade, I’d be handing out Good Citizenship awards, but since this is high school, I think I’ll bring candy.

I think someone gave all of my students some sort of mood-altering drug today. I need a mood-altering drug of my own after dealing with them all day.

To: All Ramstein American High School Students
From: Me–mad
Re: Things You’re Not Allowed to Do

1. Tell me to mind my own business when I ask you to take a seat (I’ll give you a break because you apologized)
2. Tell me to get away and leave you alone when I ask you to stop talking during silent reading
3. Flip off other kids in my class
4. Sneak out of lunch detention (but you did learn that I WILL hunt you down in the cafeteria and haul you back)
5. Walk out of my classroom when I’m talking to you about the 11.4% you have in my class because you never come and when you do come you don’t do anything
6. Accuse me of making up the Modern Language Association
7. Steal my Capri Sun at lunch time

Please read to your kids when they are little so that when they go to high school, they will know how to read and write and understand what they read. Please help them with their homework and make sure that it gets done so that they have somewhat decent habits when they get to high school. And if they don’t know how to read, please find out what you can do about it when they are still little. Please, please, please.

Jamie, Becky, and I meant to go to the spas in Baden-Baden today, but it didn’t work out for various reasons, which was kind of a relief. So now today gets to consist of watching a movie, doing laundry, running errands, grading papers, and all of that fun stuff.

I was trying to plan a trip to Poland for my birthday, but it looks like that won’t work out, seeing as how it apparently takes 20 hours to take a train from Landstuhl to Krakow. My backups were Estonia and Latvia, but cheap flights are just not available. Lori just emailed me asking if I would maybe want to meet her and some friends that weekend (which is also Easter weekend), and I think that sounds even better than any of the previous plans, so we’ll see what happens!

Sorry for a boring post…